“Empty”, digital photograph, c-print, 16″x24″, 2017

March 20, 2017

For this project, Invisibility, I explored different ideas with the photographs that I took because the term invisibility makes me think about different things.  I think about what the artist’s eye sees that perhaps the non-artist doesn’t always see.  With my trained eye, I look closely at everything around me, finding beautiful compositions in the mundane, and often over looked objects.  Invisibility also makes me think about depression and mental health.  So many people suffer with issues in silence, keeping that part of themselves invisible to everyone else.  I also think about my belief in spirits and how they are most often invisible, but there.  When I look up into the sky, I think about the energy of all the souls in the universe, and I often talk to my passed on loved ones.

Invisibility also made me think about the absence of my oldest daughter in our home, as she just returned to college after Spring Break.  We were lucky enough to have the same week off together, but it wasn’t until the end of the week that I realized she won’t be able to come home for Easter and/or Passover.  I have been ignoring, or perhaps it’s denial, that her being away at college means that if things go positively, at the end of her college experience she won’t be moving back home.  She should be going to graduate school or starting her career, and living on her own.  Wow!  That is the goal, and of course I want that for her, but with my youngest only a few years behind her, it is just so unbelievable to me that I’m at this point in my life.  Each day, my husband and I get closer to being empty-nesters.  Once again, wow!

Maddie was kind enough to not have me clean out my art supplies from her bedroom this past week while she was home.  It was the only empty space in the house, and I promised to use it only temporarily while she wasn’t home.  However, for the week, she was happy to sleep in another room on an air mattress.  After she left to go back to school, the empty and deflating mattress, with used bedding left in a jumble on the bed, hit me in the heart.  She was happy to go back to school, which is awesome, but I miss her, and I worry about her all the time.  My time with her being an occupant in our home is quickly fading into nothing more than invisible memories.

Out of everything that I explored for this project, both in thought and photographically, the image above made me the most emotional.